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brooke512744 OP t1_jcti580 wrote

Reply to comment by Sharpstill44 in [discussion] What helps you combat the “I’m wasting my life” mentality? by brooke512744

I enjoy your post and specifically these two thoughts:

  1. Allowing self to enjoy the day can be difficult, so even that as an objective is worthwhile
  2. The mental contrast thing. I am for sure a black-and-white thinker but I usually only stay on black or white- and not go to the other side. Even if I can see both sides, the “other” side is out of reach or impossible sounding in my mind. But I read somewhere once that people can either think “everybody hates me” or “everybody loves me” and both are equally delusional and untrue*. And goes to show that extremes aren’t usually reality and don’t serve us very well. Will work on finding the middle ground, the gray area. I like that sentiment. Thank you for the reminder.
  • Ps if we’re gonna be delusional at times- may as well believe the positive side and not negative one!
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Sharpstill44 t1_jctu7yb wrote

The contrast thing is only to stretch your perspectives, it's not about good or bad, it's about understanding other perspectives and the minute shades of grey that you might eventually see. Regarding extremes, it takes time, DBT is Dialectal behavioural therapy, but the more important part is the word: DIALECTAL, because it sums up to two truths, because two things can be true at the same time, someone can be irresponsible and kind, or mad but mean well. This is something that takes time to practice and focus on, it's taking me 3 years, and I'm probably 50% there. And positivity isn't always good, sometimes it's better to see bad and understand that it's bad. If you're always happy, you're in denial or perfect, and I trust neither, but if you're happy and sad at times, that's the only thing that's reasonable. Quick last note. Practice doesn't make perfect. It makes permanence. Remember that till you pass.

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