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Larkson9999 t1_jc8t6xy wrote

Oh yeah, sure is great going from married homeowner to divorced renter in a shit tier apartment. I've come so fucking far!

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Howard_Cosine t1_jc90vu1 wrote

Love the fact that there are sentiments out there that even Hallmark is like, nah fuck that shit.

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Legendofstuff t1_jc911ox wrote

Replying to Larkson9999 (#2,232,037)

fist bump

Gf of seven years I wanted to marry decided to say fuck it and get with another guy on Christmas, like they’re in Cuba together a month later, and I’m still looking for even a shit tier apartment.

So far. Zero steps backwards. Life kinda sucks.

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Pakutto t1_jc9192u wrote

Incredibly underrated advice. Really REALLY good to keep this in mind.

EDIT: To all of you complaining about how bad your life is and how this advice is bad ... in reality, you guys need to follow this advice the most. Appreciations and perspective are key to getting through some rough times.

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PlausibleAbility t1_jc93wjo wrote

Replying to Larkson9999 (#2,232,037)

Realize that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you're not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate. You'll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There's no risk when you go after a dream. There's a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe. Bill Burr

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samthemanthecan t1_jc979nd wrote

Folks take it easy .my son lost his mum when he was eight years old ,I had to give up driving trucks full time look after him , I found part time job washing trucks Nearly seven years latter my son 15 get him self too n from school ,I go back to driving working full time Now been current job two half years my son is 17 Dont give up Allways appreciate what you have today If your really down today Just believe I really hope the sun will rise for you Not religious thing Just human thing Keep trying , if you dont try you wont see the sun rise Give it a little time .

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kmmy123 t1_jc9cuht wrote

I angry punched the up vote. Ugh, I know it's right. Acknowledging it is another thing

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Gaitle t1_jc9cyh2 wrote

38 years old broke, no house and a shitty job. Yeah I appreciate it that I'm old and broke with a shitty job.

Tq for listening to my ted talk.

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4ssteroid t1_jc9de6l wrote

Nah man. In the last 8-9 years I've not made a single meaningful connection with any other human being. I used to be different. Whatever social interactions I have are family or friends who I made before that time. And the more I meet those friends, they stop wanting to hang out with me because I'm clearly doing something wrong. But I have no idea what it is.

I do complain a lot and try to act like I know everything which is obnoxious. Maybe I'll start there.

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fireandmemestone t1_jc9dgvx wrote

Replying to Pakutto (#2,232,463)

Thank you! So many comments missing the point of this advice.

For those in a shitty place, it’s not “thanks I’m cured”, it’s that things won’t get better in an instant, so you best keep yourself in as positive a state of mind as you can to create, recognize, and/or take advantage of a chance to improve your situation.

If you’re not in an objectively shitty place, then it can be taken as a simple reminder to appreciate what you have.

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on1chi t1_jc9dsfu wrote

Honestly this sounds like something a lazy person would say to justify their laziness

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puffiez t1_jc9fwtg wrote

Holy shit I needed this today.

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in2misbhavn t1_jc9hcwi wrote

I love all the outlooks never been here ever in my life never on top iam ok at theboutm as I am at the top love the wife wow never thought I'd say that hard life dy now I thought she have down don't understand y she won't give sex sais no not her crazy never have I had ror thought I'd b around these ways of people it is pushing me I'm ok feeling s the sight I am expecting is like an aside trip I will try my best for her not as for her dut j sn he lv wmm my my heart is to nthe tésntbls I'd t be f n me

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RandomWeeb239 t1_jc9hgah wrote

Honestly I feel like this advice is incomplete. Because it gives an impression that the advice is “you should maintain the status quo” which should not be the case.

Rather, a better quote would be “Accept that you can’t change the past and you are where you are in life right now. However, the future is yet to be determined. So take your time and reach for a better one. No need to rush.”

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SquirrelAkl t1_jc9m42l wrote

I have been doing this lately. Found myself feeling quite excited to get into my favourite pyjama pants after some exercise & a shower last night, and about the prospect of buying lunch at a yummy Thai food place near work today.

Allowing yourself to feel excited or happy about the small things makes each day a whole lot better.

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SquirrelAkl t1_jc9mee5 wrote

Replying to 4ssteroid (#2,233,046)

That sounds like a really good place to start.

My brother used to act like that too. It was the armour he wore to hide how extremely sensitive he was inside. I think he’d numbed his feelings with alcohol for so long that he started believing his armour. It made him quite hard to be around sometimes.

This could be a start of a whole inner journey for you that you’ll come out the other side of much stronger and more authentic.

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Mike_H07 t1_jc9n09k wrote

Replying to Gaitle (#2,233,028)

38 years old, young enough to turn it around, a job instead of jobless, spending time on Reddit (okay this may be a negative haha). Being homeless does suck though. Yeah you don't have it great, but many many people have it worse (not saying you should be happy because people in Africa are worse off or something, just showing how others can have another perspective on things).

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rright-meow t1_jc9n2ua wrote

That's not good enough. That covers the power of acceptance but leaves it blank. There has to be words of initiative afterwards.

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4ssteroid t1_jc9nhou wrote

Replying to SquirrelAkl (#2,233,451)

Spot on. I don't like being taken advantage of. I know nobody likes it but some people just accept it. I hold a long term grudge and try to avoid situations where I can be taken advantage of. I also don't like hurting people and when you get close, you end up hurting people just with a simple "no" sometimes.

I hope your brother is not stuck there especially relying on alcohol.

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SquirrelAkl t1_jc9nxfx wrote

Replying to 4ssteroid (#2,233,494)

Sounds like you’ve got good self-awareness, and that’s a great step.

If you dig deeper to find out why you feel that way you can work on healing what hurt you, letting go of the grudges (they only hurt yourself!), and learn to say no in a nice way that respects your own boundaries while not hurting others too much.

Best of luck on your journey. It isn’t easy, but it can be really freeing.

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phantomm2 t1_jc9qng2 wrote

Idk I get false positivity vibes, like just ignoring reality and living a fantasy

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Outrack t1_jc9szmn wrote

If you “do enough”, you probably wouldn’t have the sense of life not being what it’s supposed to be like.

This is awful advice.

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blakkstar6 t1_jc9t6zh wrote

'I wasted my 20s and my 30s, and most of my 40s, being depressed. And then I realized that the only reason depression happens is because of hope. When you're young, there's all this pressure to get a great job, get married, have kids, buy a house, and you worry that you're not making it happen fast enough, and maybe you never will. And then one day you wake up and say, "Huh... I guess none of that happened." All you have to do is outlast your depression.'

  • Jim Jefferies, paraphrased
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mcpickledick t1_jcab1v1 wrote

That's a great quote, really makes me feel positive about myself. Wish I could write something like that, instead of being a pathetic dipshit loser.

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scorpion_tail t1_jcab2k0 wrote

I always find these kinds of sentiments to be arguments against ambition.

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MyEmailAccount t1_jcafxyo wrote

Being happy all the time isn't realistic. The world is a harsh fucking place and were all looking for ways to cope.

I had to get pissed at myself and accept my own responsibility before I was ready to do anything about it, maybe a little anger and frustration has a useful function. I could blame my parents and anyone else who failed me along the way, but shit that was then, It was me whos been perpetuating that failure for the last two decades wallowing in my own misery and content because my crutch made me feel better when I needed it which was daily, or even hourly. (I was a stoner)

Accepting yourself is an important thing, but you don't have to accept everything about yourself the way you are right now, in fact that's gonna keep you hitting the bong, going to the bar, binge eating, or whatever crutch your leaning on. If you are angry, GOOD, use it, use it change your habits, you might just find yourself in the process. Good luck!

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PLTRruinedme t1_jcaj5at wrote

Im at work but got fuck all to do since about 9:00. Its almost 15:00 now, so I need about 2 more hours still. Not working makes me more stressed than actual work

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Flipwon t1_jcajf7o wrote

Replying to Gaitle (#2,233,028)

I swear this was me only a couple years back. Seems like it was just yesterday. I woke up one day and said fuck it, I can’t just sit around smoking weed and playing video games forever. I decided to look into going back to college and get a degree, change the way I think. Fuck this pay check to pay check shit.

Anyways Diablo 4 comes out this weekend and I’m just gunna smoke and chill. Could be worse.

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Malamazu t1_jcaks4k wrote

Gonna have to criticise this questionable paragraph of essentially toxic positivity.

Firstly happiness isn't one thing. It's personal and not defined by assumptions. It isn't necessarily only rooted in appreciation but rooted in the values that you hold, which differ from person to person.

Saying relax is useless wisdom. It's dismissive of the issues at hand. Why can't people relax? Usually it's because their needs aren't met.

Saying someone is enough and has enough and does enough is simply delusional. Everyone's situation is different, it's actually insulting to say we all have enough, when inequality in this world is at utterly ridiculous and evil levels. We should all be far more angry and motivated but we've been conditioned to live in fear of losing what little we have.

Living in the moment is all well and good but without awareness and planning being included in that ethos, then it's simply living without responsibility and thus living immorally.

Letting go is also one of those useless wisdom snippets, that oversimplify something complex about life. Letting go of various things can be useful to you, but it can also be detrimental to many too. Do you let go of your anger, and thus let go of your motivation and thus let go of your hope. Things might not seem so black and white.

I understand the overall message here is supposed to be aimed at people who are overworked and stressed, and to take a step back to be positive about things overall but the wisdom contained is endemic to the usual nonsense about there being easy answers to things in life, when this idea is far from universal.

Being negative and critical about things, especially yourself can help you grow and change. And if you delude yourself into thinking everything you have is enough and someone else is worse off, so don't complain, then you maintain the evil heirachy of society and maintain your own delusion.

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lein1829 t1_jcay9vm wrote

Thank you I really appreciate this.

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mltain t1_jcb0uvq wrote

How far you've become?

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MissHunbun t1_jcbkwlx wrote

Another bullshit empty post that says nothing.

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ZuesLeftNut t1_jcbn241 wrote

Wrong, thays a great way to end up used abused and full of regret. Never settle.

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iamCaptainDeadpool t1_jccdacn wrote

I am 26 and unemployment. Do nothing but watch movies and play video games all day. How is this a motivation.

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amence t1_jcckihx wrote

Replying to Gaitle (#2,233,028)

Same. I turn 38 next week. Can't buy a house, barely have anything saved for retirement. Meanwhile my friends make enough to feed a family if 4 and own a house on a single income.

Feels bad man.

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Whatmeworry4 t1_jccrwf8 wrote

Replying to Gaitle (#2,233,028)

I was over 40 years old, broke, no house, no job, married with an unemployed wife. But we turned it around and life is now better than I thought it could be. Don’t give up.

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quantumkatz t1_jcd1mqd wrote

Replying to Malamazu (#2,235,292)

I have to disagree abit. The post can also be seen as setting a base line for being enough. Savoring, being grateful about the little things and putting your perspective about “enough” are healthy self-care practices.

Why? Because in general we have 2 very harmful features of our brain:

  1. It gets used to stuff really quickly.
  2. Our strongest intuitions (predictions) are often wrong.

Any change no matter the degree over time will quickly diminish in value so there is a constant desire for more. This is called Hedonic Adaptation. The second point is that we tend to catastrophize and overestimate the value of needing. Like we need to pass this test or need this particular type of job to be happy.

If you’re interested there’s a course on Coursera call the Science of Well Being by Yale University. It’s free to audit.

TLDR: Setting base lines of being enough or having enough can increase our enjoyment of what we do have and reduce catastrophizing and Hedonic Adaptation.

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