Be careful about where you get your information. What you are doing is technically finishing wood furniture. The type of painting you will be doing is not the same as painting walls, which could be why you're getting so much conflicting information.

It sounds like you're dealing with muddy water, so I'm not sure how much help it would be to share what I would personally do because I dive in head-first on things and learn as I go. Maybe get a piece of wood to test on and see if you can arrive at the finish you're looking for?

You don't need to apply anything like poly, you'll just apply a topcoat. For your purposes your paint is your finish. If you decide to go with an oil-based finish then understand you will be creating a piece of fine furniture, and you should supply yourself with enough time and patience to learn such a craft. Don't rush that process.

To address a few questions. Any paint will be sticky if you apply it too thick or recoat too soon. Oil based paint is awesome but very hard to work with. If you are a novice water borne acrylic enamel (I like breakthrough by ppg but there are some SW and benajamin Moore versions pros like more) is a nice mix of easy to work with an durable. They dry fast though so you have to move quickly to keep a wet edge and sand between coats. If you can get one I’d try to use a sprayer. We did to our built ins. Removed everything we could then masked and isolated the rest. That will give you a good finish. We did not sand between coats using the sprayer as the paint hadn’t totally cured and we weren’t trying to smooth out roller stipple or brush strokes.

Take your time. It’s not that hard but get it really really clean and scuffed up very well. And use a good primer. Good luck!

It might be worth paying 20-40 bucks to have a pro painter come out, look, and write down detailed instructions.

Go to the paint store and they are best equipped to answer and advise you.

I would use personally a latex semi gloss.

Sand, Prime, Light sand, Paint semi gloss, Light sand, Paint semi gloss.

I like brushing it and if you use a good brush and a good touch it can come out nice.

You can also roll it for a flatter finish though if you prefer.

Good luck!

My two cents:

Clean with some solution to get off grime/dust if needed.

- Yes. The go-to is something called TSP. You can buy it in powder form and mix it or just buy it in liquid form.

Sand lightly with 120 grit sanding block or orbital sander

- Let dry first. If you have loose or bad paint then knock that off first with a 5in1 tool or putty knife. Then use a finish sander and sanding block to get a light scuff on the surface. Be sure to caulk any seams or gaps. If you have other imperfections you'll need to fill them in with wood filler and sand smooth.

Wipe away sand with moist towel or microfiber cloth

- I'd vacuum it first, then wipe it down. They make tack clothes for the wipe, but they can get pricey if you use a lot of them so I think you're ok with the towel.

Apply primer

- Yes.

Sand with ~200 grit after priming slightly to smooth it out

- Not really necessary if apply your primer well - no drips, etc.

Apply first coat of paint, brush around edges and 4 inch roller (or similar) for larger flat surfaces. Use roller as much as possible. Let dry.

- As others have said, oil has a great finish but can be tough to work with. Latex is easier, but generally not as nice of a finish. But there are now urethane alkyd paints, which give you easy latex cleanup and application with an oil like finish. Almost all the major brands have them. This is what I would use.

Sand lightly again?

- See below.

Apply second coat of paint and let dry

- Get your primer tinted to the color of your paint and a second coat of paint won't be necessary.

Put on some kind of finish/sealer/polyurethane?

- No, don't bother.

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I would suggest an enamel trim paint. They are designed to avoid making the shelves sticky. Oil is harder to work with than water based. Practice first :)

Latex paint stays soft and will stick to objects on the shelf. This is why things like lightswitch plates and door knobs are generally kinda stuck to your walls and doors.

Chalk paint is trendy shit. It's soft and needs to be coated with something to not constantly rub off. The paint itself is extremely matte.

I'd use urethane or oil based enamel paint. It cures much harder and is generally what's used for furniture and cabinets. Clean up is harder, but doing it right the first time will save you time overall.

For a glossier finish you might need to sand between coats. I'd check with the paint itself once you've decided on it.

Once you've got your paint on you don't need to clear coat it. It'll just mess up the paint's curing.

Yeah, I've kind of narrowed it down to something like this: https://www.sherwin-williams.com/homeowners/products/emerald-urethane-trim-enamel

Thanks for the super detailed response to my questions. Very helpful.

Thanks for the input. Based on your feedback and others, I think I'm settling on something like this: https://www.sherwin-williams.com/homeowners/products/emerald-urethane-trim-enamel

And using a high quality BIN for primer.

Yeah, that'll work great. Benjamin Moore makes a similar one that a lot of folks here swear by. I've used Behr's comparable product (shhh, reddit hates Behr), and gotten fine results. The trim enamel dries hard with no tack. Follow the drying instructions, don't overbrush or coat too thick, and you'll be fine.