Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

penguinpenguins t1_je12wr7 wrote

Who are you, and how did you get in here?

1,344

Maoman1 OP t1_je1340d wrote

I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith

2,560

OathOfFeanor t1_je16kgc wrote

Thank you for indulging us with our 100% original DIY comedy

676

[deleted] t1_je1f90q wrote

[deleted]

−23

Arkeuz t1_je1fqfv wrote

pretty damm sure that was sarcasm

30

LeaveTheWorldBehind t1_je1jbiz wrote

What's reddit without gatekeeping at every possible step - even when wrong 😂

21

StatusSea5409 t1_je1m213 wrote

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

There is no gatekeeping!!

7

eye_spi t1_je274qs wrote

>🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

These are mine now. You can't keep them.

11

Kaizenism t1_je31rue wrote 

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

“You have been delineated” in Terminator voice

4

profanityridden_01 t1_je1pwq0 wrote

Have you been waiting your entire life to say that? Because it was fucking glorious.

157

Maoman1 OP t1_je1qak0 wrote

Lol no, it happens almost every time I reveal I'm a locksmith in other subreddits. Fortunately, I never tire of it ;)

I have been waiting my whole life to say it IRL though. Knowing me, I'll crack up mid-sentence and ruin the opportunity.

360

tstormredditor t1_je1vths wrote

Have you tried breaking into more hones and getting caught? I bet you'd get the opportunity to use it then

87

Dad2DnA t1_je3pltf wrote

I once had a job delivering pizzas, and a regular customer of ours was a prosthetics shop called Breaky Prosthetics; which I found hilarious in and of itself.

Anyhoo, I made regular deliveries there, maybe once a week, for a couple of months before it happened, the moment I had been waiting for.

I arrived with the order, and the receptionist asked me how much it was. My reply?

"An arm and a leg!"

They were not amused, but that is still among my proudest irl joke moments

40

kerbaal t1_je1w34m wrote

> I have been waiting my whole life to say it IRL though.

Not a locksmith but a guy who has played with picking locks (it even came in handy a couple of times.

Was going to a party recently, of the rather shall we say lively and spicy kind. The person throwing it pointed out that there is an old safe in one of the rooms, and the owner of the place has given permission to try and get into it.

I made it a point to NOT find out where it was, because otherwise I would have spent the entire night there trying to be that guy.

32

FerretChrist t1_je2ih66 wrote

Most disappointing ending to a story one could possibly imagine.

65

kerbaal t1_je2m27w wrote

> Most disappointing ending to a story one could possibly imagine.

Only because you see it as the ending; it was definitely where the fun began. I have no regrets. It would have been far more disappointing if I spent all night not getting into a box.

14

FerretChrist t1_je2nbr9 wrote

Sure, I'm real happy for you having a great night at a party and ignoring a safe. That doesn't make the story any more exciting for the rest of us.

32

MagicToolbox t1_je2r28x wrote

It was a spicy party right? You spent the night getting into a box, but not the safe....

11

kerbaal t1_je2voex wrote

Spicy enough that I felt good about leaving a mark.

8

Sasselhoff t1_je1web6 wrote

I have utmost faith in you pulling this off with nary a titter, giggle, nor snicker, /u/Maoman1 (however, what I would now like to know, is how are you and /u/maoman1 related?).

3

hello_raleigh-durham t1_je21ntk wrote

> I have been waiting my whole life to say it IRL though. Knowing me, I'll crack up mid-sentence and ruin the opportunity.

“I’m Ben Jones, and I used a b…ah frick!”

2

New_Designer5528 t1_je2pgxy wrote

No glory os watching your coworker, (when being heckled by a doctor on how to fix the lock) hand the doctor the screwdriver and tell him to fix the lock, and he would do the surgery for the doc...

1

insane_contin t1_je4qgrk wrote

"Who are you and how did you get in here?"

"I'm Maoman1 and your wife just let.... NOOOOOOOOOO"

1

Rodentia-Nullified t1_je15hk4 wrote

I have never, ever, ever wanted to spend real world money on stupid internet clout awards to give away until this very day.

I get it now ready. I get it now.

15

drthvdrsfthr t1_je21pvm wrote

it’s from an old 80s show lol i thoroughly enjoyed your fangirling though

https://imgur.io/cbTyRxN

12

coop999 t1_je3j8zm wrote

> it’s from an old 80s show

For those who don't know, the show is Police Squad starring the great Leslie Nielsen.

6

more_beans_mrtaggart t1_je2407a wrote

Well, if you’re anything like the three different locksmiths I’ve had to employ, you had no idea how to open the lock without a key, so you smashed your way in through a window, boarded it up, and will tell us I now need to call a glazier and you’ll be back a week on Thursday to replace the lock.

6

Maoman1 OP t1_je2cpvm wrote

Sorry you encountered a scammer. Unfortunately our industry is riddled with them thanks to states (or countries) which do not require licensing to call yourself a locksmith. Trust me, we hate them as much as you do.

23

ashahmal t1_je2habo wrote

I honestly have never thought about how a locksmith gets qualified to be one...now that I know this, I hate it too! How do you know someone is qualified when looking for a locksmith?

6

Maoman1 OP t1_je2l72o wrote

Generally if they have a brick and mortar location (i.e. they aren't a mobile-only setup) or they've been in business for at least 5-10 years, you can be pretty sure they aren't a scammer. There do exist mobile-only locksmiths that aren't scammers, but scammers with a brick and mortar location are pretty rare

8

NurseKdog t1_je3sp47 wrote

I also use a brick as my primary bypass method. I just can't afford the ATF tax stamps on the mortars...

4

Maoman1 OP t1_je5auqz wrote

My father (also a locksmith) has a fake foam brick that he occasionally throws at people's window as a joke when they're locked out.

3

funnyflywheel t1_je4lm09 wrote

I’d tell them about a lawyer who’s really good at picking locks.

1