My mom grew up in Middletown in the 1960's and I've always been curious about the bowling alley

Submitted by squirrell1974 t3_10w7j0l in Connecticut

My mom doesn't talk about her childhood, but there was one thing she said to me when I was a teenager that stuck with me and I'm super curious about it. She told me that there was only one time in her life she disobeyed her dad. He told her not to go to the bowling alley, and she did. She said it was the scariest place she'd ever been in her life and afterwards she vowed never to disobey her dad again.

At the time, I rolled my eyes and just figured she was being ridiculous, especially considering that the people I was hanging out with at the time were pretty bad ass. Most ended up either in jail or died young. (I didn't do either thing- I turned my life around and these days I'm pretty respectable)

So the whole thing about the bowling alley came up today. I rolled my eyes so hard I could see my brain. I think of the bowling alley as a place where kids have birthday parties and the scariest thing there is the pizza. But then I thought maybe I should give my mom the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the bowling alley in Middletown CT really was a scary place in the 60's?

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Prize-Hedgehog t1_j7lkbeq wrote

All my friends went there to smoke endless cigs before they were 18 because nobody asked questions there, and when our parents asked why we reeked it was because we went bowling all night. This was Willi Bowl though, it wasn’t so scary there.

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IndicationOver t1_j7ll7f1 wrote

I know Middletown pretty well, never heard of a haunted (since you said scary) bowling alley.

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shanvanvook t1_j7lm6rz wrote

The one with the pool room on Washington St.? Used to hang out there in high school. Not scary.

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otis-potus t1_j7lpupm wrote

There was a bowling alley on Main St, I think?? Maybe it was a roller rink too at some point?? It was in a scary building that looks kind of run down, right by the fire station. It’s empty now, but maybe that was it?

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TCPottery t1_j7lq1kb wrote

Maybe it wasn't the place, but the people, that your grandfather was warning your mom about, and in sharing the memory with you as a teen you keyed on to the location?

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tookerken t1_j7lr51m wrote

Is your family people of color? Imagine being a person of color in the 1960s? If not it could be just the fact that even if it wasn't a racial thing it was definitely a man dominated world.

Imagine being a young woman, walking into an establishment that is primarily congregated with males. You have no protections, you have no rights, there's a strong chance that those men are going to harass you, be pushy, a bunch of younger dudes trying to impress each other.

Back then sensibilities were different, children were raised differently especially women. And so the sensibilities that were instilled in the general population at the time might put this exaggerated sense of expectations as to how people are supposed to be. And so being young and impressible and walking into an establishment and a situation that is so far outside of that teaching in that comfort is also going to be extremely scary.

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squirrell1974 OP t1_j7lvzkx wrote

Replying to TCPottery (#1,746,071)

That's what I meant, I'm sorry if it came across as the building. I've always assumed my grandfather was saying the people there were dangerous. But I've also always assumed my mother was just super sheltered. It wasn't until today that I started thinking that bad ass people have to hang out somewhere, and maybe they really did hang out at the bowling alley!

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squirrell1974 OP t1_j7lwuzj wrote

Replying to tookerken (#1,746,125)

That makes a lot of sense. We aren't POC, but looking at it like that I can definitely see a young woman being unsafe in a male dominated world. As a female myself, I'm surprised I didn't think of this. Thank you for this perspective!

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tookerken t1_j7lxre8 wrote

Replying to squirrell1974 (#1,746,511)

Especially at a time where men were teaching women to be weak and subservient and that they have to be this ideological pure thing. Whereas men historically have been taught they should act almost opposite of that. They need to be assertive borderline aggressive, they have to take what they want, that they're out there to be the driving force. Especially if this was in the '60s and it was a white dominated culture.

And if this was in a rougher area, or lower income area The likelihood of that aggression and that domineering personality being less cultured and more instinctive and impulsive goes up exorbitantly.

It's why statistically lower income neighborhoods and communities have higher crime rates than more affluent communities. Low income communities have less access to higher education, less access to tools that would teach them interpersonal and communicational skills.

So you have a higher rate of crime, a riot higher rate of violence, a higher rate of aggressiveness. That could be scary to a teenage person Male or female. especially if they're not accustomed to that situation if they were raised in a kinder home. Or gentler home. Or one that just had a different outlook and perception on life.

This is all conjecture. I wasn't alive in the '60s. I have no first-hand experience with this. I myself am a white male. This is just speculation and a thought experiment based on communication and my experiences with just people and life in general.

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tookerken t1_j7ly6zh wrote

Have you tried approaching your mother recently and asking her to elaborate more on what it was exactly that was causing this fear and discomfort?

Do you think that if you approached it with a more scientific nature, and less eye rolling internally that she would open up more and be more receptive to sharing with her experiences?

Would framing it in a sense of trying to preserve historical accuracy about the state and the growth from which it's come from help her open up and be willing to divulge some of the things that she may have gone through and and noticed and perceived with her perspective?

You can let her know there's at least one if not hundreds or thousands of people just waiting by their screens to see any type of accountability or accounting or reckoning of the past of the state that we all know and love not to mention just the world we live in.

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essaitchthrowaway3 t1_j7lz60t wrote

Honestly I think the only answer to this would come from your mom (or if you have uncles or cousins that were around back then).

The reality is that a lot of places have been given the old "disney paint job" since the 80s. For instance, in the 70s NYC was BAD. Like really bad. You might not get killed, but lesser crimes were rampant. Then people in power across the country realized that more profits could be made, things became more sanitized and more family friendly to attract more people. That was kind of a big movement in the 80s and 90s. Now this incident redates your mom's incident, but it could possibly be related.

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I think you need to find an opportunity and ask her about it. Then report back to Reddit and let us know what she said because I know I can't be the only one curious about this.

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Pruedrive t1_j7m2s80 wrote

I went there as a kid, before it was renovated into the gym.. also the movie theater there too.

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jpr_jpr t1_j7mhihm wrote

That sounds like my dad pointing to a building next to the highway in Hartford. He said it was a prison where bad people went. Scared the crap out of me. But I think it's actually an old insurance building.

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jpr_jpr t1_j7mhy3h wrote

Replying to essaitchthrowaway3 (#1,746,624)

Similar to the combat zone in Boston. Someone threw a brick from a window several stories up that hit the brim of my college friend's hat while he was walking down the street. Still some sketchy areas, but not like it used to be.

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RunnyDischarge t1_j7mlupb wrote

Your mom was trying to teach you a lesson about obeying your parents. There was zero scary at the bowling alley.

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squirrell1974 OP t1_j7mpwnn wrote

Replying to RunnyDischarge (#1,747,847)

That's what I always thought, too (hence the eye rolling!). All she really did was convince me she was super sheltered. It's taken 30 years and a good therapist for me to consider that maybe there was more to it.

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squirrell1974 OP t1_j7mtshy wrote

Replying to tookerken (#1,746,577)

I doubt my mom would talk about it. She seriously never talks about her childhood at all. Any time I've ever brought up anything from the past, even something from my own life, she says she doesn't know what I'm talking about. She does it even if there were tons of people there who also remember (like if something happened at a wedding or Christmas), or there's solid proof, like pictures or something.

I love the suggestion u/essaitchthrowaway3 made, though, to talk to my other family members. I have really good relationships with my aunts and uncles. And now that I've started down this path, I think it would be pretty interesting to see if anyone has stories to tell.

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MoonFishLanding t1_j7ndhp3 wrote

The name of it was "Middletown Lanes" and it was located at 890 Washington St. It closed in 1994. It was a normal bowling alley but it was "sunken" (underground/basement) as in you had to go down a couple flights of stairs to go down into it. It was smoky, dingy, and no natural sunlight...it was a bowling alley. As far as it being scary, I guess that's open to interpretation. Where in CT was your mother from? There are lots of smaller towns surrounding Middletown that didn't have the "city" way of life, especially in the 1960's. Maybe that contributed to her experience? Like any city there were most definitely some questionable people, but that occurs anywhere. "Scariest place" though? I don't think so.

https://www.courant.com/news/connecticut/hc-xpm-1994-08-11-9408110521-story.html

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jaredsparks t1_j7nwvn1 wrote

My wife grew up in Middletown and she went there often as a child back in the 60's. Said it was a wonderful place to go bowling. No issues.

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mischavus618 t1_j7p9bj5 wrote

I grew up during the 70’s in Middlefield and I didn’t find it scary.

Did she mention the rollerskating place above it in the 70’s?

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