You admitted it’s an issue. That’s the hardest part. I would definitely recommend private therapy. It helped me a lot. It’s not easy, but it helps you come to terms with the issues that drive you to self medicate. Meetings are helpful even if you’re not 100% onboard with a higher power. I’ve found that even if a group wasn’t exactly my style, if I listened there would always be a positive take away. Best of luck in your journey!! Your future self will thank you!