I’m more optimistic than some of the other posters. For the last 5 years I’ve had to do office visits to both Boston and NYC. it’s not as often for me as you describe, but it’s doable and still a lot cheaper than the cost of living in either city. We’re in the South Windsor area. There’s no good train option for Boston, but if I leave early enough I can consistently make it in less than two hours driving. Yeah there’s days where it becomes 3, but usually only if I get a later start. For NYC, I’ll either take Amtrak from Hartford or Windsor, or drive down to New Haven and take Metro North. Either total trip is about 3 hours.