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poboy212 t1_jdy0x94 wrote

There is no right answer. This is an awful situation.

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TriStateGirl t1_jdy1i25 wrote

They're in a very tough spot, but I'm guessing these are very good jobs. I still think my answer of Milford is the best option. One metro north train down to NYC, and a 60 to 90 minute drive to West Hartford.

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poboy212 t1_jdy1uhz wrote

There is no job worth this. There are studies about job satisfaction and commute and these are just not worth it. They’re each looking at a 2+ hour commute each way, best case scenario. 4+ hours per day, each. Nope.

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Shortchange96 t1_jdy453r wrote

2+ hours each way from Milford to West Hartford? Is she walking?

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lolaya t1_jdy4pkr wrote

No, 2 hours roundtrip

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Damage1200 t1_jdygovm wrote

I mean, I drive about an 1.5 hours from Trumbull near the Merritt to Stamford, and that's one way and only like 25 miles.

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lolaya t1_jdygxkk wrote

and thats also the rush hour corridor. Thats a fairfield county thing

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Itsmoney05 t1_jdzm6ap wrote

An hour and a half from Trumbull to stamford? That's ridiculous. What time do you leave?

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Malkor t1_jdzuhl7 wrote

Probably ~7?

I used to leave at 6:30 from Shelton to get to Norwalk and 60 seconds later would change my ~50 minute ride to hell to a longer one.

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Itsmoney05 t1_jdzvnv2 wrote

I do a similar commute and if I'm in the car at 7 I'm in Stamford in 50 minutes. I'd say they are either exaggerating or leaving around 730, which puts you right in the mess of things.

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Damage1200 t1_jdzyq1z wrote

Between 7:10 and 7:15 and nah on average I get in between 8:30 and 8:45.

I have to go past downtown Stamford, so it's not high ridge road or something.

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IrishWithoutPotatoes t1_jdzkixk wrote

I do Farmington to Trumbull every day, it’s not great

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coded-narwhal t1_je0ge42 wrote

I did west hartford to Trumbull every day. I do not miss those days

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IrishWithoutPotatoes t1_je0glcf wrote

It wears you down after a while

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coded-narwhal t1_je0h1m9 wrote

My Subaru didn’t like it much either..

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wileyakin t1_jdzpxj2 wrote

They wrote “each way”, they must’ve meant “each day”

Edit: nope, yeah, they wrote it twice, so yeah, wtf are they talking about lol

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NotoriousCFR t1_jdygxm9 wrote

> They’re each looking at a 2+ hour commute each way

What? It literally takes 2 hours to get from West Hartford to NYC. This is mathematically impossible. Yes, traffic is a factor, but if OP lives close to a Metro North train station and his wife is driving against traffic the majority of the way, neither of them should be going much more than maybe 80-90min max from a halfway-point home.

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poboy212 t1_jdzn5dy wrote

You’re also wrong on your timing to nyc. Once you get to grand central you then need to get to the office and even if located in midtown it’s still another chunk of time. In order to have only 90 minute commute to nyc office, you’d need to at least be in Norwalk and then that’s an 80 min drive to West Hartford.

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NotoriousCFR t1_je08e7f wrote

>In order to have only 90 minute commute to nyc office, you’d need to at least be in Norwalk and then that’s an 80 min drive to West Hartford.

Does that not meet the criteria of being "80-90min max for each person"? Proving that it is possible.

Google Maps shows 2 hours flat drive time from WeHa to Manhattan. 2:20-2:40 with traffic. Of course if you are riding the train instead you are adding to your commute time. But even if you settle on a cautious estimate of 3h travel time from WeHa to NYC, splitting the difference still doesn't work out to be 2h per person.

Your original assertion that both parties will have a commute over 2 hours is wrong. If OP moves closer to Hartford in order to reduce his wife's commute, he may be commuting upward of 2 hours, but his wife obviously will not. If OP moves closer to New York (ie FFC) to reduce his own commute, he will clock in at or under 2h door-to-door, and so will his wife. A reverse commute from any part of Fairfield County to WeHa will not take more than 2 hours barring extraordinary circumstances (major accident, snowstorm, etc). The only way they could possibly both have more than 120min one-way is if they moved somewhere completely out of the way.

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IslandStateofMind t1_jdznnnq wrote

It does not take 2 hours from WeHa to Hartford. I like in Woodbridge and commute into Midtown once a week. 20 mins to Milford train 1 and 40 min express train to GC and then however long it takes to get to your final destination in the city. From WeHa to west haven station which would be the best option is 50 mins. This would be a 3 commute at minimum.

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brentwhere t1_jdy3gx2 wrote

if the moneys there id commute two hours 🤷‍♂️

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[deleted] t1_jdy4dnr wrote

[deleted]

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brentwhere t1_jdyhdcp wrote

i didnt expect that thorough a response 💀

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[deleted] t1_jdyhrbr wrote

[deleted]

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Extra_Championship1 t1_jdypz5n wrote

To be clear on this - you're slamming this commenter for not providing a response, then saying that everyone would do x for y until faced with the consequences..and then saying you'd have a terrible commute to NYC for a six figure salary? Unclear how you can be holding those two positions.

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brentwhere t1_je0bllr wrote

bro had to delete that essay he used to reply to my one liner

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fuserx t1_jdzpzg1 wrote

That wasn't the question. It was how to do the commute. I have been in a similar scenario in my life. I used to hate talking to people about where I lived or worked because of assholes like you. Keep your fucking opinions to yourself.

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poboy212 t1_jdzrkot wrote

What? We’re giving input to people here. No wonder you’re a bitter asshole - you’ve been doing this shitty commute your whole life!

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fuserx t1_je0b25c wrote

Nowhere there did he say is this feasible or should I get a new job or ask for any advice other than what is the best way to accomplish it. So you did not give any "input". OP already know it's difficult.

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everyoneisracist666 t1_je1d5rb wrote

The commute to West Hartford from Milford will be atrocious. It'll be better to live off of the I-84 West of Waterbury area for them. Milford is not ideal.

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EmeraldMoose12 t1_jdyriap wrote

The only right answer is ditch the NYC commute.

Edit: Ask questions: For how long? Is this permanent? Why am I needed in NYC 3 days/wk.? How does this benefit the company and me as an employee? If you’re a top performer, this is an opportunity to stand your ground OR ask for more money. If you have to be in NYC 3 days/wk you’ll either need accommodations or you’ll be spending a shit ton on gas/train tickets. Either way going to NYC 3 days a week will cost you more money so IF you’re going to stay, they need to give you more money. Otherwise, 🖕🏻✌🏻.

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ThousandGrams t1_jdztvc5 wrote

He literally said he gets reimbursed for the travel in the OP.

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