BIFL is probably not the best place for advice on a bicycle when there are a lot of bicycle specific subs out there that can help you out. A quality bike should be BIFL anyway, with proper maintenance and occasional replacement of worn or damaged parts.

From what you say it sounds like you have a lot of research to do because some of what you present seems to conflict with your intended usage. You don't need any shock absorbers if you're rarely leaving the road. A road bike is generally built for speed and is great for getting around but it sounds like you want to travel and if that means carrying a heavy load most modern road bikes will be unstable under weight. A straight bar might be preferable to a dropbar but that depends on usage and comfort. On a long ride dropbars offer better variety of hand positions that you can switch to for comfort. Straight bars let you sit more upright for better visibility in traffic but there's less repositioning you can do if you start to ache from being in one position.

You might check in with r/bicycletouring or r/bikepacking for advice on a bike you can travel with but that's versatile enough for your other needs. Personally I ride a heavy, steel framed touring bike (a type of road bike) that's slow as fuck around the city but serves me well on bike camping trips. You might prioritize speed a little more than I do.

You'll never regret the money you spend on a bike as long as you use it and love it. You do not need to spend a ton. Many high end expensive components are actually less rugged because they are very lightweight and built for speed.

The used market can be a great way to get on a starter bike but be wary. There are a lot of scammers and thieves who will talk a good game to someone who doesn't know entirely what they're looking for. A used bike from a reputable shop can be a safer option.

I suggest getting on a lot of bikes for test rides before making a decision. Fit and comfort are very important. I rode every touring bike in my size available to test ride within an hour of me before pulling the trigger and I'm glad I did.