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ShackintheWood t1_jaeob4i wrote

Someone making a long, concerted effort to make you feel you are insane or not seeing reality correctly. That is what gaslighting is.

It is not just lying, or denying things, as almost all of Reddit uses it now.

Stop using that term incorrectly.

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PropagandaPagoda t1_jaeowqr wrote

If your expectation and reality don't align, like a late bus or dinner plans, you instantly assume it's your fault, you made an error, and you're less than normal people who can manage their time and pl- oh wait, the bus was just late but here it comes.

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aim4harmony t1_jaeoz7c wrote

When you did the hard work and your manager still says: "Your work results are so bad that we are going to fire you. You didn't even try to work hard, did you?" and pinpoint all mistakes they manipulated you to do. You feel mistreated, played even within you, but at the same time begin to doubt your reality and accept guilt, then resign from a job.

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SnooEpiphanies6051 t1_jaeph76 wrote

When you know the person is for a fact lying. You can’t be gaslit if you call people out on their bullshit to their face. Some confrontation has to happen sometimes in order for people to square themselves away. Don’t let anyone gaslight you, it’s just another form of bullying. It won’t stop until you make it stop.

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BleedingRaindrops t1_jaeqxsm wrote

If you bring up an issue you have with them and they get offended

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vivivivivistan t1_jaeqz0w wrote

If they never apologize. Apologizing is normal, nobody is perfect, but if you realize your partner never apologizes you'll probably also realize it's because they rarely ever take responsibility when something goes wrong. If they show up late, it's because their roommate misplaced their keys, the bus was late, they had to stop for gas, traffic was crazy, etc. If your feelings are hurt it's because you misinterpreted what they said, you gave them the impression that you actually would've liked it, they actually meant to do it another way but something else caused it to change. If they do something wrong it's because you drove them to it, you actually don't understand the situation, you're jumping to conclusions, what they did wasn't wrong in the first place, you're trying to control them by saying that that's wrong.

Sometimes it's obvious, but other times you get sucked into what they're saying and you don't see what's happening.

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