well i need a crush first

Absolutely nothing, I tell her every day 'i love you and I am abandoning you forever '

The fact that I need one first

Nothing.

I have a million times. I'll probably break down and tell them a million more.

I’ll never feel good enough for her. She deserves way better.

She’s outta my league.

Zero benefit to do so. We work together, so it would be awkward. Never mind that she's in a happy relationship and shown zero interest in me.

Same

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That might just be you talking tbh. My partner still believes I deserve better even though he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. There is nothing better

I don't have one

Why you feel your not good enough for her? I mean if you love her show it that you deserve it show some efforts make him special and if you failed at least you tried and you show your presence and efforts rather than pulling yourself down without making any movements. I'm like this too before and I encountered competitor with my crush and I feel like I can't do it since I'm not good and I'm not pretty but I just show my precent and effort that I love her even though there is chance that he will reject me but I didn't give up and now we are almost 3yrs in the making I mean it's not everyday will be our day to get what we want but at least we do our best and that's the important part. Stand up and show to her that you deserve don't down yourself too much and don't overthink just do your best I know you can.

She's married and so am I.