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What? As someone with add what are u trying to ask

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First time posting on this sub, the mod bot has removed a few of my more detailed attempts. Let me clarify-

My ex was recently diagnosed with ADHD. We didn’t work out because she was very indifferent and cold. She admitted she never really seemed to realize she wasn’t aware of my needs or feelings. Not only towards me, but also towards employees she manages at work. I’m just wondering if that’s a common characteristic of people with ADHD or if there’s some other underlying cause.

Edit: sub

Yeah I can say as someone in a relationship I just forget to do certain things it’s not that I do then on purpose or ignore them but I can relate

I'm married to an ADD-PI woman. Not indifferent; rather, oblivious -- focussed on what's in front of her in the midst of all the noise in her head. When she realises she's missed something important, she's upset and tries to make things right. That's the prime difference between ADD and narcissism: narcissists never give a shit, ADD people are mortified when they realise what's happened.

Thanks for the response. If/when your partner points it out, do you get defensive or take responsibility?

Damn…. Well that answers a question I just posed to another response. My ex gets defensive and tries to place the blame on me for “overreacting.” We’ve been trying to give it another try and it’s tough. Hurts my heart. She has admitted and acknowledged that she gets defensive automatically. And shows glimpses of affection and consideration/reciprocation to my feelings. But it’s far and few in between. Don’t know whether to be patient or just accept it’s not something I can deal with. She’s 30 I’m 35. Maybe too old to change habits 😞

No-one’s too old to change. With the right medication and therapy, my wife has become much more active and proactive than she was. While it took time to find a combination that worked, it’s been so worth it.