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h3yd000ch00ch00 t1_ixjm18o wrote

That’s beautiful. And made me think. Because I can’t either. And I never thought of that before. I’m sorry this happened to you.

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softshivers OP t1_ixk4rpm wrote

thank you. don’t be sorry for me friend - I’m okay now and healing. much love to u x

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Lfaor1320 t1_ixkrdub wrote

How do you heal when you don’t know yourself without the pain?

I mean this earnestly, I feel the same and have been in therapy for a decade but I don’t see who I can be without the trauma.

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softshivers OP t1_ixkv57y wrote

u have to embrace the pain. hold and nurse it like a baby. what happened to us happened, nothing can change that. there is no point holding onto fantasies of “what ifs”. we are who we are, partly because of what happened to us. it’s about coming to terms with it and accepting the past whilst also realising that u are firmly grounded in the present. the past can only hurt u as much as u allow it to. that’s the hard truth. i really do wish u all the best <3

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DeannaZone t1_ixl492i wrote

My therapist noted that I hid my favorite baby doll because I was afraid of her getting hurt, she had me go and hold her and take care of her, as if it was me, and promise to keep her and me safe, it has helped over the years.

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Lfaor1320 t1_ixkwku2 wrote

Thanks! I have a hard time accepting the pain and feeling broken as a result. Hopefully I will be more content one day.

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cynicaloptimissus t1_ixkto7j wrote

Kind of a rhetorical question cos I don't know how many of us trauma survivors have figured that out.

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Lfaor1320 t1_ixkuy9c wrote

Nope actually specifically directed to the OP who claimed to be healing.

I’m genuinely curious/eager to heal.

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UCanArtifUWant2 t1_ixkbf71 wrote

Came here to say exactly this 💙 I'm sorry for each of us 💙

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Vivistolethecheese t1_ixkt42o wrote

Wow, you're incredibly recognizable. I've seen your work before, and it's incredibly profound. You are incredibly skilled, and the way you convey your message goes deep. Honestly brilliant, I hope you're doing much better and nobody ever deserves to be put in those situations. Love your work, and your message. Be kind to yourself today.

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softshivers OP t1_ixkw092 wrote

thank u friend. that’s a really nice thing to say, i appreciate it x

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BangButton t1_ixjy989 wrote

This hits you like a brick in the face

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bonniex345 t1_ixmin9b wrote

Why was my previous comment downvoted and nobody made an explanation?

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[deleted] t1_ixl72kd wrote

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[deleted] t1_ixm3doz wrote

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toothy_sleuthy t1_ixmcf95 wrote

No... the nuance is that OP was assaulted at such a young age she doesn't remember a life without it i think

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[deleted] t1_ixmcyr6 wrote

[deleted]

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toothy_sleuthy t1_ixmdl5l wrote

I'm sure the lower thing is so.ething to restrict arm movement. Baby teeth to represent innocence and how young they were

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Noodler_Doodlebug t1_ixk3s9h wrote

Empowering and tragic. Reminds me of Banksy, but with a younger, feminine affect which effects me more. Beautiful, the way that tears can sometimes be beautiful.

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softshivers OP t1_ixk4thv wrote

that’s a great compliment - thank u so much <3

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StewTrue t1_ixkhktc wrote

Would you mind explaining the symbolism of the teeth?

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softshivers OP t1_ixkib6c wrote

they’re baby teeth. i don’t remember losing them, just waking up one day with adult ones in their place

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StewTrue t1_ixkiqxu wrote

Oh ok, so this is meant to be taken a bit more literally than I initially guessed. My reading of your art was that you had some early trauma which made you feel as if you did not gave a childhood. The shattered crucifix and the lamb led me to guess that it was trauma connected with the church. Now I’m wondering whether you literally do not remember your childhood.

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softshivers OP t1_ixkjs7n wrote

i remember my childhood trauma very well. i just don’t remember that blissful ignorance and innocent wonderment that should come with being a child.

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bonniex345 t1_ixl74ar wrote

How does this happen? It takes years for teeth to change.

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softshivers OP t1_ixl7iyv wrote

not literally. i meant, i just have lost a lot of my timeline. i don’t remember large chunks of time, specifically from 5-10.

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bonniex345 t1_ixl8uey wrote

How?

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Amationary t1_ixlawwk wrote

It’s about childhood trauma, whether it be physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse etc. Many people never had the stage of being a blissfully innocent child, and instead were forced to grow up too soon and missed their early milestones. Also many children who are abused suppress their memories of abuse, leading to large chunks of time (months, years, even decades) being completely forgotten

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in_sherman t1_ixk8dzh wrote

i don't think i've stopped and regarded a piece posted here for as long as i have this one. i think superlatives can mean something...

you are very skilled at creating a real space and evoking real stuff, coming across clearly despite the constraints you have placed upon yourself here when creating this piece

i think it's interesting that the brightest part of this piece is jesus' severed left arm. it means something to me, at least.

a few people dear to me have touched on this sort of stuff before quickly turning away. i never know what to do.

there isn't a good time to begin looking away from this

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cynicaloptimissus t1_ixktky5 wrote

I literally sobbed about this very thing today. I don't remember being a happy, innocent child. I wanted to ask my grandma what I was like, but she passed away three weeks ago.

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bonniex345 t1_ixl8vz5 wrote

What is this about? I keep getting downvoted for asking, I don't understand

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[deleted] t1_ixm8agh wrote

[deleted]

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habitualeminence t1_ixmag97 wrote

As much art is, it’s up to the viewer mostly to give it meaning. But for me, and I’m assuming most of the other commenters, this is about child abuse, and the loss of memories and time that can follow. I was sexually abused as a child, and literally lost years of my life. I cannot remember anything from years 7-11. My parents will tell me stories about things I swear never happened. I feel like I lost my childhood, and as the post says, I don’t remember being a child, just my abuse.

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[deleted] t1_ixmchrx wrote

[deleted]

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unjadedview t1_ixmuopg wrote

it could mean a ton of different things. She could have been abused by someone in the church, she could have been abused under the declaration if god, she could have been told to just pray about it, or that it was her sinful fault...

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worstofbothwords t1_ixlb77z wrote

All of OP's art has this same contrast between unsettling and cutesy, and it's genuinely very good work. And the meaning resonates. OP, I'm glad you're healing now.

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Shaveyourbread t1_ixl5le0 wrote

This was my fiancée, too, she had a long history of abuse from family friends.

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revinizog t1_ixl8duh wrote

Me neither. At least I don't have to be the one who did it to someone else.

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Playful-Permission47 t1_ixlsyik wrote

This hits me I had something happen to me also when I was two and six by different family members. I can't remember anything about my life anymore

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Rain_Rope t1_ixmhvvz wrote

I love your art so much and I love seeing you around on /r/bpdmemes <3

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cynicaloptimissus t1_ixmpowq wrote

BPD, it all makes sense.

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Rain_Rope t1_ixnhs5i wrote

OP posts on BPD/cope subs a lot. I appreciate her art a ton. Also yeah, it does make a lot of sense... :^)

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Deelaxation t1_ixnd6dy wrote

I love this piece. Its also infuriating to me how many people here don't get it. They got to have normal childhoods without any abuse (I'm glad they didn't get abused but it's fucking insane that we won the awful lottery here yknow?). I wonder what it's like to grow up well adjusted and not able to understand emotional, physical, or sexual abuse because you have no personal experiences that relate to it at all. If you don't get the art be glad you don't.

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RindePie t1_ixkbvbg wrote

this is a very relatable and hard hitting masterpiece, thank you for sharing this

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killstring t1_ixkv1rg wrote

Gosh. Hit me where I live, why don't you?

This is beautiful and heart-wrenching in all the good ways.

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Liquid_Plasma t1_ixl2mq1 wrote

Art very rarely has emotional meaning for me but there’s real impact here even though I had a good childhood. You have a real skill that can make people pause.

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jointstool t1_ixm671l wrote

Had to scroll back up to fully take this in. Nice work.

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ennuiacres t1_ixmr2bi wrote

My parents were both alcoholics. My dad would rage and destroy my toys and things. My mom would take my toys away, never to be seen again in her “Disappear Pile.”

Maybe I act immature sometimes as an adult because I did not have a happy childhood?

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Bluedotsaint t1_ixk6no0 wrote

It kind of reminds me of the red, wright stain leftover in a cell membrane during a blood cell count with differential

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ShawnMcSabbath t1_ixkwtd7 wrote

Powerful! Made me think if I could… I can not

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shaniamo t1_ixkyovn wrote

Very beautiful and touching drawing.

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ilovekeshi t1_ixlyiyg wrote

every art piece you’ve posted is amazing

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womanintheratrace t1_ixm1t7o wrote

This is beautiful. Thank you. Says so much. 💜💜

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BrilkyWay t1_ixm6mmb wrote

Powerful message, beautiful drawing.

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xPaxion t1_ixmbbcd wrote

Can I use this for game design notes?

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-Lila_cat- t1_ixn1ugi wrote

I’m sorry this happened but this would be a very meaningful tattoo

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BobaFifiuwu t1_ixnh5yl wrote

i follow you on insta and your art is so beautiful and meaningful, i love it 🥲💜 breaks my heart knowing that other people have gone through this terrible experience

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GakiVerse t1_ixnx9e0 wrote

I love how pink this is!!! So comfy and cozy

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More_Ad_5291 t1_ixkv74l wrote

Love the art. The message is disturbing.

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softshivers OP t1_ixkvxyq wrote

art is meant to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.

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bonniex345 t1_ixl783i wrote

Am i the only one who doesnt get "the message"?

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softshivers OP t1_ixl7y3w wrote

it would seem that way. it’s a good thing really

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Ikne2borosumsweats t1_ixmhg61 wrote

Powerful art, reminded me of all the aborted children too. 😔

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pending_ending t1_ixkoph6 wrote

oh i was gonna remember a nice childhood memory and read the bottom text

wtf

buzz kill

anyways nice colors, how'd you get that glowing effect?

looks like you made dust with your finger or a blending stick

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softshivers OP t1_ixkx6yp wrote

buzzkill? u know art is allowed to be more than just pretty, right?

i use my finger to create that effect

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pending_ending t1_ixkxpiy wrote

of course i know that. art can be anything. YOU, can be anything. when did i ever deny that?

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softshivers OP t1_ixkygng wrote

the assumption that it was meant to be a pleasant piece followed by the “wtf, buzzkill” comment. i’m not having a go or anything.

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pending_ending t1_ixkz0y0 wrote

well i'm sorry that your post didn't evoke the correct emotion or emotional response from me. and i'm sorry for mentioning it, officer.

i did like some things about it, so if you wanted to make me happy, don't worry! i really enjoyed your blur effect. no real complaints here. sometimes i just say the wrong things. please forgive me. i've been abused all my life and it's not my fault i'm like this.

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softshivers OP t1_ixkzevz wrote

hey, i’m not asking for an apology or anything. and my comment wasn’t meant to be rude. i’m glad u like the hazy effect. i hope ur doing okay x

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pending_ending t1_ixl04oz wrote

you're so nice i love you <3 thanks for being there for me when i needed it.

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